Palantir Earnings Call: What We Know – It's a Joke

Palantir and AMD Earnings: Smoke and Mirrors, or Actual Progress?

Alright, earnings week is upon us again. Palantir, AMD, McDonald's...the usual suspects trotting out their numbers. And the analysts? Still drinking the Kool-Aid, apparently. "Strong Q," "positive checks," "renewed server activity"—give me a break. It's all corporate buzzword bingo. I mean, are we seriously supposed to believe everything these guys are shoveling?

Palantir: Still Overhyped, Even With a Billion-Dollar Quarter?

Palantir, first up. They finally hit a billion in revenue. Big deal. They're acting like they invented fire or something. And their "Rule of 40 score of 94?" Sounds impressive, right? But what does it actually mean? It's just a made-up metric to make growth + profitability sound sexier than it is.

Citigroup's Tyler Radke is already singing Palantir's praises, talking about "positive checks across Government and Commercial businesses." Ofcourse, he does. He's got a "buy" rating. I bet he does.

The real question is: Are they actually solving problems, or just selling snake oil to clueless government agencies and corporations? Are these "new partnerships" with Oracle and Snowflake actually generating real value, or are they just press releases designed to pump the stock price? And this AIPCon 8 thing? Did anyone even go? I bet the free coffee was terrible. I bet it was Folgers.

And another thing...all this hype about their US commercial engine growing 93% year over year? That sounds great on paper, but what's the baseline? If you start from zero, anything looks like growth.

AMD: Can They Actually Compete With Nvidia?

Then there's AMD. Last quarter, they "reported weaker-than-expected earnings even as revenue exceeded expectations." How does that even work? It's like saying, "We won the race, but we still lost." Classic AMD.

UBS analyst Timothy Arcuri thinks AMD will have a "strong report...driven by both server and client CPU." Okay, Tim. Tell me something I don't know. He's even predicting data center GPU revenue of ~$1.7B. That's cute. Nvidia is probably clearing that in a week.

Look, I want AMD to succeed. I really do. But let's be real: they're playing catch-up in the AI game. They're trying to convince everyone that their traditional compute infrastructure is somehow relevant to AI processing. It's like trying to sell horse-drawn carriages in the age of self-driving cars. Good luck with that.

Also, AMD averages a 1.6% drop on earnings days. Not exactly confidence-inspiring, is it?

The Rest of the Pack: Noise and Nothin' Else

Pfizer's expected to report a 40% year-over-year earnings decline. Ouch. Uber's earnings are also expected to drop 40%. McDonald's is forecast to report a slight year-over-year earnings increase. Riveting. Robinhood's earnings are expected to have soared 214%. Okay, cool. More gambling app profits.

Honestly, who cares? It's all just numbers on a screen. The market's gonna do what it's gonna do. And we're all just along for the ride. What were we even talking about?

So, What's the Real Story?

It's all hype. All smoke and mirrors. These companies are masters of manipulating expectations and spinning narratives. They're selling dreams, not reality. And the analysts? They're just paid to play along. Don't buy into it.