Zcash's "Historic Surge": Anyone Actually Buying This Crap?

Alright, let's get one thing straight right off the bat: this Zcash "privacy surge" everyone's jerking off about? It's mostly hype. I'm seeing headlines about Zcash going nuts, up 10x in five weeks, hitting levels not seen since 2018. So what? Does anyone actually use this coin for private transactions, or are we just seeing another pump-and-dump fueled by the usual crypto clowns?

The "Privacy" Narrative: A Convenient Excuse

The narrative they're pushing is that Bitcoin's getting too cozy with corporations and governments, and that the hammer dropping on that Samourai Wallet dev is scaring people into privacy coins. Give me a break.

"Analysts have argued...growing anxieties about Bitcoin's privacy," one article says. Oh, analysts? Which analysts? The ones who shill whatever coin they're paid to shill this week? I'm not buying it.

Sure, the timing is interesting. Rodriguez getting slapped with five years for running an "unlicensed money transmitter" definitely sends a chill. But let's be real: if you're trying to hide something from the feds, you ain't doing it with any cryptocurrency. You're using cash, burner phones, and disappearing into the woods. Or, you know, not committing crimes in the first place.

And this whole idea that Bitcoin is suddenly centralized and corporate? Please. It's always been vulnerable to that, it's just becoming more obvious now that the suits are circling. The only people surprised by this haven't been paying attention for the last decade.

The Numbers Game: Smoke and Mirrors

The other thing that stinks about this whole Zcash rally is the numbers being thrown around. Up 1270% year-over-year? Okay, great. But from what starting point? The article mentions it was hovering around $40 for three years. So yeah, a 10x jump looks impressive, but it's still chump change compared to its all-time high of over $3,000. It's still down 79% from that peak. According to Privacy Coin Zcash Continues Historic Surge, Nearing 8-Year High Price, Zcash is nearing price levels not seen in eight years.

And the "liquidation" numbers? $51 million in short liquidations sounds like a lot, until you realize Bitcoin and Ethereum saw three times that amount. So, Zcash is the third-most liquidated coin... whoop-dee-doo. It just means more people were dumb enough to bet against it during this artificial surge.

Here's another fun fact: its market cap is around $11 billion. Top 20 crypto, apparently. That's cool, but is that value actually reflecting real utility, or is it just speculative hot air waiting to pop? My gut tells me it's the latter.

So, What's Really Going On?

Honestly, I don't know. Maybe there is genuine renewed interest in privacy. Maybe the Zashi wallet and "Project Tachyon" are actually doing something useful. Maybe... nah, who am I kidding?

I suspect this is mostly just a coordinated pump, fueled by whales looking to make a quick buck off of retail investors who are chasing the next shiny object. They see the word "privacy" and get all excited, thinking they've found a way to stick it to the man. Meanwhile, they're just lining the pockets of the same old crypto manipulators.

Offcourse, maybe I'm just being cynical. Maybe Zcash really is the future of private transactions. But I doubt it.

Another Day, Another Crypto Scam?